Professional Wrestling's Greatest Matches

I love my subscription to WWEClassics.com. It keeps me busy wasting time when I could be doing something constructive. I am still trying to explain how there is a beautiful girl who actually wants to marry me.

I recently logged on to WWEClassics.com to find that they (whoever they are) have changed their domain name to WWEGreatestMatches.com and launched this new, incredible thing with a list of matches. "They" are calling this list the "100 Greatest Matches of All-Time". Naturally, because I am a total mark, I perused this list with disproportionately inappropriate interest, and found it not only controversial and intriguing, but inspiring.

Not inspiring enough to make me wanna send mosquito nets to Africa, or to make me want to pass out muffins and blankets to homeless people, but inspiring enough to make me want to make my own list, without so much as moving a butt muscle. So here it is, a better and less WWF-centric list (although I admit that WWF DOES have the highest number of great matches) . Some of these matches appear on WWE.com's list, some don't. There certainly are not 100 of them. Can you actually believe there is a beautiful girl who wants to marry me? Me either...



3/29/1987 - WrestleMania III - Intercontinental Championship Match:
“Macho Man” Randy Savage vs. Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat:
No outside interference. Nothing, zero. Except for, of course, George "The Animal" Steele pushing Savage off the turnbuckle rope when he went in for the Flying Elbow From the Sky... Widely agreed, by pro wrestlers not named Hulk Hogan, to be the greatest wrestling match of all-time. WWF style at his finest.

12/5/2004 - Turning Point 2004 - Losing Team Must Disband:
Triple X (“Fallen Angel” Christopher Daniels &  “Primetime” Elix Skipper) vs.
                America’s Most Wanted (“Cowboy” James Storm & “Wildcat” Chris Harris):
A hurricanrana off the top of a STEEL CAGE by Elix Skipper. Somehow, AMW still wins. This is what tag team wrestling should be, and coming from me, that's huge. I don't care about tag-team wrestling, and I really don't care about tag-team cage matches. This was still epic.

12/13/1988 - SuperClash III - AWA/WCCW Title Unification Match:
“The Modern-Day Warrior” Kerry Von Erich vs. Jerry “The King” Lawler:
Kerry Von Erich enters the ring with a huge gash on his bicep. Lawler proceeds to batter this injury until it becomes a gaping wound. Von Erich manages to get the Von Erich Steel Claw on Lawler's head, but is bleeding so profusely that the ref stops the match and awards it to Lawler. Bad officiating. If you were gonna stop the match, you should have stopped it much, much sooner.  Von Erich bled for 10 minutes before the match was called.

3/31/1996  - WrestleMania XII -  60-Minute Iron Man Match for WWF World Championship:
“Heartbreak Kid” Shawn Michaels vs. Bret “Hitman” Hart:
Two of the finest technical wrestlers in the world go at it for 60 minutes and fight to a draw. I'm no fan of Bret Hart, but he got HOSED in this one.

1/19/2003 - Royal Rumble 2003 - WWF World Championship Match:
Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit:
Say what you will, Chris Benoit was one of the most gifted fighters ever to set foot in the squared circle. He meets his match in this one. The word "clinic" is thrown around a lot, but this truly is one. No funny business here, just absolute wrestling in it's purest form. Watch this match and tell me it's not a sport.

11/15/1986 - AWA World Championship Match:
Nick Bockwinkel vs. “Mr. Perfect” Curt Hennig:
I can't really say it any better than the announcer for this match says it -"Both men have not only given all they have to give, but all there IS to give."  Both men bloody, the 60-minute time limit approaching the final minute. Bockwinkel has Hennig in a Figure-4 leglock...

8/28/2002 - Triple Threat Ladder Match for TNA X-Division Championship:
“Phenomenal” A.J. Styles vs. Jerry Lynn vs. Low-Ki:
The first ever X-Division championship match. A.J. Styles looks like a little boy, and there is one particular moment in this match that is emblazoned on to my psyche. It involves Low-Ki and Jerry Lynn, but A.J. truly is the star of this match.

3/14/2004 - WrestleMania XX - Triple Threat Match for World Heavyweight Championship:
“Heartbreak Kid” Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Benoit vs.  Triple H:
How can a match with 2 of the top 10 finest wrestlers ever to set foot in a ring Vince McMahon's politicizing son-in-law, who also happens to be a CLUTCH performer, be anything but bad? Eddie Guerrero gets involved, but not in the way you think...

3/27/1988 - Clash of the Champions I - NWA World Championship Match:
Sting vs. “Nature Boy” Ric Flair:
Another example of not being able to say it any better than the announcer, in this case, Jim Ross, said it:
"10 seconds left... He won't give up!!... He won't give up!!" This match went head to head with WrestleMania V's main event (Savage v. Hogan), and quite frankly was the better of the 2 absolute classics...

4/7/1986 - WrestleMania II - WWF Tag Team Championship Match:
The British Bulldogs (Davey Boy Smith & Dynamite Kid) vs. Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake & Greg “The Hammer” Valentine:
Just a great tag team wrestling match featuring 3 of the greatest wrestlers ever and one complete tool...

3/29/1987 - WrestleMania III - WWF Championship Match:
Andre The Giant vs. Hulk Hogan:
Morella a competent referee?

11/19/2006 - TNA Genesis:
Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe I:
Kurt Angle was freshly fired from WWF, and had a lot to prove. Samoa Joe was fresh out of ROH, and had a lot to prove. They prove it.

12/10/2006 - TNA Turning Point:
Kurt Angle  vs. Samoa Joe II:
The best match of the trilogy. After 1 epic fight, they both learned about the other and took it to a whole other level. The 3rd match was completely anti-climactic. The 2 best active wrestlers.

6/27/2004-  Great American Bash 2004 - Texas Bull Rope Match for WWF Championship:
Eddie Guerrero vs. John Bradshaw Layfield:
Eddie Guerrero has never really had a bad match, but wasn't always fighting for something so meaningful. JBL was one of the greatest heels ever, and Eddie seemed to be at a complete disadvantage in this match. The stipulation requires that one man drag his opponent, whom he is connected to at the wrist by a piece of 15-foot rope. JBL was about 100 pounds heavier and a foot taller. How could EG possibly accomplish this goal?

9/18/2003 - 60-Minute Iron Man Match for WWF Championship:
Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle:
They had the more popular match, where Lesnar BOTCHED a moonsault, but this one on a regular version of SmackDown was definitely better. Lesnar's strategy FINALLY brings to life the exact strategy that I had been yelling at my TV every time there was an Iron Man match. I still love Lesnar for this. I won't tell you what it is...

11/23/1994 - Survivor Series 1994 - Submission Match for WWF Championship
(Match can only end when one man’s corner throws in the towel):
Bret “Hitman” Hart w/ Davey Boy Smith vs. Bob Backlund w/ Owen Hart:
Two guys you wouldn't think have a chance at being even slightly entertaining do that impossible "clinic" thing, and Owen Hart ends up proving why he was BY FAR the most interesting Hart child.

2/13/2005 - Against All Odds 2005 -  30-Minute Iron Man Match for X Division Championship:
“Phenomenal” A.J. Styles vs. “Fallen Angel” Christopher Daniels:
Has it become clear to you that I LOVE Iron Man matches? These matches set wrestling apart. We need more of them.

4/1/1990 - WrestleMania VI - WWF World Heavyweight Championship vs. WWF Intercontinental Championship:
Hulk Hogan vs. The Ultimate Warrior: I was not a fan of either of these guys, but Warrior ultimately (pardon the pun) became Randy Savage's tag team partner, so Warrior wins. No, he actually did win. Hulk Hogan attempted to get the match thrown out by faking a knee injury, but the referee called his bluff. Good officiating from a Hebner is a sight to behold, as it only comes once in a millennium. Hogan, to this day, claims he kicked out, but I saw it and I know the truth.


1992 Royal Rumble Match:
Ric Flair enters at No. 3 and wins. Not without a "minor" assist from your favorite and mine, Sid.

1/1/1984 - "No Punches Allowed" Match - Mid-South Wrestling- AWA World Heavyweight Championship:
Nick Bockwinkel vs. Jerry "The King" Lawler...

Let me please note that punches are NEVER actually allowed. This match was a result of shoddy refereeing, blatant cheating, and politicizing Memphis wrestlers. Lawler owned Memphis, lock, stock, and barrel. Lawler was required to spend 500 dollars per punch he threw. He admitted he would throw 20 punches, because the 10 thousand dollars were worth the belt.  Even though the stipulation was Bockwinkel's idea, it becomes clear that Lawler has no qualms about stretching this rule, and one can only help but wonder how much Lawler spent on greasing officials and promoters.

Officially "official". For Laura...

Well, hello, lovely readers... The Brown Note is not of the misguided opinion that you have been anxiously awaiting his return to this medium,  but appreciates your loyalty, nevertheless.

Since we last spoke, luminescent readers, The Brown Note has been through a great many changes. Certainly, some things haven't changed. The Brown Note is still angry at Brian Wilson (the pitcher, not the Beach Boy), still disturbed and disheartened by the customers of Hero's, and still generally pessimistic. Check out the previous blogs if you don't believe me. This time, The Brown Note has something positive to say.

As of December 25th, 2010, The Brown Note is engaged to his better half. His far better half.  Yes, on Christmas morning, BN made it official. 

The Brown Note remembers the exact moment it became clear to Brown Note that Brown Note should propose to her loveliness. Suffering in the black dregs of the Hero's kitchen, it hit the Brown Note like a shot. Cliche alert. Looking down at his cheese grease-crusted, tomato sauce-soaked apron, he knew that he had to immediately take action. There was no denying this impulse, because it wasn't just an impulse. It was an undeniable truth, the kind of truth that occurs when you know something is true, but you can't explain why. The kind of truth that occurs the night before a high school nerd stands up to his arch enemy, the bully. You just have to do it. If you don't, you'll never forgive yourself. You'll forever be haunted by "what-if's". The Brown Note just knew it was the right thing to do, even though he didn't. He knew he would never find a better half more honest, more loyal, or more completely endearing in every single way than Laura. 

The first thing the Brown Note did was call his mother. Immediately. In the middle of dinner service. The Brown Note couldn't have possibly cared less about the consequences to his employment at that moment, this was infinitely more important.  The Brown Note leaves through the back door, and immediately proceeds to the curb on the corner of 9th and L, while his cell phone is already ringing.  Mama Note answers, definitely clueless to the news that is about to be levied on her. Brown Note reveals his plans to Mama Note, and she is understandably flabberghasted. Brown Note wants to give Mama Note and James Roland Malone's (R.I.P., you fuckin' savage, you) diamond to Laura. Mama Note becomes instantly elated, and agrees to do absolutely anything to make Brown Note's engagement to Laura possible. She aches for grandchildren. Chill, Mama Note. All in good time...

Under the guise of Christmas shopping (totally NOT sneaky), Brown Note meets with Mama Note and makes the exchange. The diamond is now BN's. Brown Note vows to pay it off, somehow, but Mama Note is more gracious than she ever should be to her loser child, and plays it coy.  The diamond is getting passed on, and grandchildren are promised, so she would be satisfied to give it away for free... For the Brown Note's part, it means more than he could ever explain that the same diamond that ringed Mama Note's finger in 1975 is ringing Lovely Laura's finger in 2010. Chosen by James Roland Malone himself. 

Then came the waiting. The Brown Note knows he talked to James Myers, that little sawed-off badass, but only remembers the concern. Do I have it in me? Am I husband material? Can I take care of Laura as well as she deserves?  Is it weird that I have a certain calm around me, should I be more disturbed? Most important of all, how do I approach her father? I know for a fact I can't propose to her without asking his permission first, but I'm terrified! How do I breach this subject? James Myers, being who he is, tells me that I most certainly should talk to Tripp Howell before I ask Laura ( I spell it with 2 "p's" because he is doubly badass), despite the fact that he has NO experience on the subject. He's right, though. That's why I asked. James Myers knows alot of things. You wouldn't think it by looking at him, but it's true. 

Facing the inevitable, I stall. I justify the progression of time by telling myself that I'm waiting for the perfect moment. I don't have much time, and I'm dying inside, both for my pussiness and my fear that Tripp may actually NOT bless the union.

Unexpectedly, the moment arrived. A trip to god-forsaken Ripon leaves Brown Note in the eye of the storm. This isn't right!! Tripp Howell is hanging up Laura's stocking, the same one she's had since she was young. I'm a douchebag. That's his little girl!! I can't!! But I have to. Laura is standing right next to Brown Note, and I'm talking to myself, fully aware that the moment is at hand. Just leave the room, Laura...

This isn't how it was supposed to go. I was supposed to be calm and composed. I was supposed to call Tripp on the telephone and invite him to dinner, and ask his blessing like a gentleman. But I didn't have the balls, and now here we are...

Laura leaves the room, ironically speaking to her mother about what Tripp (double badass) wants for Christmas. A chilled silence, that only the Brown Note can feel, falls over the room. Tripp Howell goes about hanging up stockings and opening mail:

Brown Note (To Himself): Dammit, Malone, you're gonna ruin Christmas, but you HAVE to do this NOW...

Silence... 

More uncomfortable silence. Probably a silence that was normal to Tripp, but lead-heavy to me....

Brown Note looks over his shoulder, makes sure that Laura is knee-deep in conversation (she's very good at talking on the phone), and finally breaks what seems to him like a overbearing quiet...

Brown Note: So, Tripp, can I talk to you about something real quick?

Tripp: Sure!! What's up??

Readers, keep in mind that despite the Brown Note's unpreparedness for this particular moment, he had been contemplating what to say to Tripp for weeks....

Brown Note, seizing the moment: Well, Sir, I'm thinking about proposing to Laura...

(Fuck!! Tell him how much you love her! Tell him!)

So is that cool with you!?

(Oh man, you blew it. Dumbass...) 

Tripp: Well, that's between you guys. It's your life. 

Brown Note: uhhhhh..... Well, I just wanted to make sure it was ok with you. It means alot to me. 

The Brown Note is thrown off. Not only by his own lack of eloquence, but by Tripp's seeming total acceptance of this whole fact. He can't possibly accept this. I suck!! Tripp proceeds to hang stockings, as if Brown Note just asked to borrow butter. To be fair, this was a first for him, too, and I have no idea what was going on in his head, but in my frantic mind, he seemed almost unconcerned. I'm sure that's not accurate, I'm sure he was more eloquent, in fact I know that more was said, but my head was spinning and I couldn't possibly keep it all straight if I had tried. 

It was only a week or so until Christmas morning. Mama Note texts BN at about 8 am on December 25 to see if it has happened yet. She wants grandchildren, and she wants them now. Not yet, Mom. Patience...

Being the romantic that Brown Note is, he waits until the presents have all been opened. Laura leaves the room to do... something... in her little sister's room. Tripp has left the room, and the rest of the Howell family is minding their business... They know. They are probably wondering why the heck I'm such a pussy. 

I follow Laura into her sister's room. Again, not how I had it all planned...

Brown Note: Hey Laura... (gets down on one knee)

Will you...

Laura: Yes!!!!!! (Snatches the ring, box and all, out of the Brown Note's hand)

Brown Note: marry me? 

God bless Laura's beautiful heart. I love the hell out of her. Laura runs out of the room, shoves the ring in her sister's face and does a dance that can't possibly be duplicated. Oh yeah, she did give me a kiss first. She proceeds to call her friends, my friends, her friend's friends, her family... I stand around stunned that she actually said yes. 

I wish I could make her that happy every day. If only she knew what she was getting into.